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I read somewhere that you never really grow up, you just learn how to behave in public. If that's the case,I think I missed a few crucial lessons. And technology makes us its puppets. If these two sentences seem unrelated to you, maybe you have trouble understanding me. I'm not saying you should. But if you can make out a clear connection, welcome abroad!!

The whole society is just biased. I was at this Hot Bread's shop with a friend of mine. And I stuck my sandwich in the cash counter because I needed free hands to fish out my wallet from my sack of a bag. While in process, my friend nudged me in the ribs, and I looked up. The guy at the cash counter wouldn't look at me. There he was all shaking and laughing at his feet.I thought maybe because no one has stuffed sandwich on his counter before. How lame! This guy's has a humor sense of freshly laid cow-dung.
And I paid and left the shop, irritated.

My friend: Why did you do THAT??
Me: Do WHAT?
Fri: You dunno, what you did?? (a smug smile forming on her pretty face)
Me: No?? (anticipating the worst)
Fri: You were singing... no Wailing (an afterthought)
Me: Damn. Which one this time?
Fri: RELEEEEEEEEASE ME... RE-leeeease mah bod-eeee
Me: ****!!

Well it wasn't that bad. Last time I went "Maaaaryy me..Say you wiiiiill" in a public bus. But c'mon...when people start singing in movies,they get all positive feedback and claps, even. And some guy with an instrument comes out of nowhere and plays the rest of the song. Well, I don't live in a fantasy world where my life instances are picture perfect. But movies are supposed to be extracted from "daily life". I may not be the twilight material, but 'm left to think that 'm in the making of horror story script.
Hypocrites!!

When love gets cryptic

Last week I was invited to this lunch at our family friend's place. I rang up my friend and told her we are going out and she's in for a surprise. The surprise turned out to be a 2 hour journey to a foggy land. She vowed never to attend my phone calls on weekends again. And I was complimenting the aunty* how nice her biriyani(a meal that makes you forget what hunger is for a long time)was. Turned out it was neychor(its evil cousin bearing resemblance). Well, who would have known? But everyone did. So much for intro, moving on..

As we were having that fateful lunch with the fan singing rhythmically in the background, uncle* came in. The songs of the fan rudely were interrupted by an antique scooter's long suffering coughs. And what surprised us the most was her response, "Here comes another uninvited person barging into the house".
This warm words were welcomed by a collective enlarged eye-exchange between us. Well,I understand the previous visitor to be their son.
Her declaration was accompanied with a perfect mismatch of host smile. She didn't hate him, no. My best guess is that she just didn't liked to be interrupted.

This got me thinking... Its funny how people show their love for their spouse. In the humble geographical area where I was born, wives usually don't address their husbands by name. Out of respect.

Here are some interesting nomenclatures assigned to married men by their clever wives who has to find apt substitute with their intended meanings.

Pulli (PULL-ee)
Now this word is a homonym and has an alternate meaning "spots". And I remember, once my mom tried calling dad through the intercom. She got through an operator who knew us, so she went straight to the point, asking, "Is pulli still there?" And what she missed was this guy just came back to work after a severe case of chikenpox.

Ithiyan (E-thi-yAAn)
Literally, "ith" refers to thing in my language. So what could Ithiyan be, THE THING??

____'s father.
And your child's name goes there.
You tell them, "Hey thats a nice watch" and they reply it with, "My son's dad gifted me" with that feminine pride.
This differs locally. It could be just achan (father) oru pillarde achan (same as above)

Manushyan
Literal translation: HUMAN.
I cant say anything more on this, and 'm sorry about it.

-chettan.
Usually comes as a suffix to the name your better half. This one actually shows the highest degree of respect, if you ask me.

Ividoraal
Literal Translation: the guy over here.
Again, words fail here.

And the last one. Well there could be more, for all I know.

Uncle*
*because everyone you meet over 30's and has a mutual friend becomes your uncle. And his counterpart, aunty.

Me: Woow..that's a nice watch. eBay?
XX: Nope (inhales extra air to continue).. this is from uncle who mailed it from US
Me: Okay. Tell him my regards then.
XX: Its recession there
Me: umm..right.

Well, regardless of what the they address, they manage to stick around like chopsticks happily married to their martial life of noodles. Be happily in love, humans!!